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Self-doubt is like an old muscle that I’ve used a lot, so the muscle memory is well established. Whenever I do something that would create a result, the self-doubt speaks up.
She speaks loud and often too, so I’m on guard all the time. Her voice broke the dam today and self-doubt came gushing in, flooding my body and mind with negativity. Ugh. I’m really tired and pessimistic at the moment, but I’m better off writing about it than wallowing in it.
She said to me, “you’ve been dutifully updating your twitter account and Facebook page. But, what can you do about bad writing and a boring personality? Why bother with the blog and the creative ideas that you lack the means to materialize?”
Ah. She is such an asshole.
As much as I know that we’re fine the way we are, the knowledge doesn’t come through all the time, especially when I’m flooded with self-doubt.
It’s a good thing I’ve become a veteran at dealing with mental struggles after all these years. So I know it always passes.
It’s good to address them anyway. These are the steps I do whenever I’m swamped by self-doubt and don’t want to simply wait it out.
