Social media can be so insidious.
I was feeling pretty satisfied as I sipped on my good cup of Oolong tea and finalized a post on my blog.
That is, until I scrolled through my carefully curated Instagram feed of happy things and good people.
I came across a story of my friend having a fine dining experience.
Fine dining. I’ve never experienced that!
All of a sudden, something shifted within me.
Am I missing something in my life? Am I unworthy of that experience? Should I indulge in finer things in life? Be better to myself? Wait, is it because I suck so bad I don’t deserve better?
Then that nasty sense of inadequacy filled me.
STOP! I am fine! Where did all that nonsense come from?
I know where — these questions are all products of subconscious comparison. As much as I hate to admit it, part of me was comparing my life with theirs.
I had to rein those irrational thoughts in. I was forgetting my priorities.
Honestly, I was never interested in fine dining because I’m frugal(cheap) and a big eater, though you won’t be able to tell if you look at my slight frame. I enjoy a good meal at a good price, but a fine meal at an extravagant price will simply make me feel very uncomfortable.
My priority is living within my means. At the moment, I’m trying to build a career out of a hobby. I could cancel this plan and return to a regular job for more money, but I’d rather give this a good shot.
It was never about worthiness or adequacy. My brain, though, has a tendency to turn everything into a criticism about my worth. “Never tried fine dining? Well you’re incapable of making money! That’s why!”
And I know I’m not the only one with such tendencies.
So, when you’re scrolling through your social media and looking at people’s statuses and photos, remember what you want in life, and don’t be influenced by what someone else has. Otherwise, you’ll run the risk of chasing after things you don’t even want.