The Bittersweetness of Leaving
Time has a way of getting away from us.
It felt like a lifetime ago that I made the decision to move to the States to be with my partner.
In the blink of an eye, 5 years rushed by.
When I made the decision, it was the easiest thing to do. I was the appendix of the family after all. My parents could take care of themselves and my siblings have families of their own.
I also felt like I had to get away from the highly organized and stifling society where everyone seems single-mindedly focused on material security.
So I left and came home infrequently. This is my third time back in 5 years.
Coming home after 18 months away, I was once again struck by the strange and simultaneous feeling of familiarity and distance. I was half a stranger in a familiar place.
It’s like putting on a worn t-shirt you put away and forgot about. The shirt looked like it could’ve been someone else’s — an old version of you, perhaps — but when you put it, on your body remembers how the worn fabric clings to your boy, so soft and familiar it’s like a second skin.
Singapore felt familiar but almost foreign. I forgot how she felt on my skin and…