We Complicate Love, But Maybe It Should Be Simple

We just have to get rid of our societal baggage.

Julie X
8 min readFeb 14

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Photo by Vlada Karpovich on Pexels.com

My sis-in-law asked me once, “would you prefer a partner with a compatible personality or a partner with money?”

“Personality,” I replied. It was a no-brainer to me. I was an idealist and admittedly more romantic than I let on.

My brother was right there beside her, and she said she would pick the one with money — with more than a hint of regret in her voice.

“Money makes everything easier,” she explained her answer.

This was years ago, but I never forgot that moment. Partly because I perceived that she hurt my brother, and partly because it went against my idea of love. If you love someone because they have money, do you love them or do you love money?

Was I naive? Was she right?

I guess we just have different opinions about love. I’m old school. I believe that a couple can come together to overcome hardship. Coincidentally, that’s what my brother and sister-in-law ended up doing.

I think love is simple, or can be simple. But we complicated love with expectations and materialism. Now it affects how we view and approach relationships.

We complicate love with unnecessary expectations

It’s normal to expect things from our partners. We expect them to respect us, spend quality time with us, support us, and be truthful with us. Those are healthy expectations.

Unnecessary and unhealthy expectations are those bestowed upon us by popular culture and materialism. They influence our perception of love and are not healthy for relationships.

Expectations created by popular culture

Growing up, I’ve always romanticized love. Who hasn’t? Children, mostly girls, have been blasted with fairytales about princesses and prince charmings (princes charming?) from a tender age.

Love songs dominate mainstream music, and romantic movies are full of tropes about perfect men and women.

Even before we even understood what romantic love meant, we’ve been forced to carry some…

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Julie X

A minimalistic millennial trying to make her life mean something.